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Tuesday, February 19, 2013 { 10:53 AM }
Happy 21st Birthday!

I'm finally 21 after so many years. Instead of feeling ecstatic, im feeling down and worried. Why? Why is the time passing so fast? Secondary school and JC felt like it was just yesterday. It's so weird to think that im already at the adult age with so much more respoinsibility like earning money etc. All these feel so foreign to me, I stil hadnt had my fill of being a kid being the youngest where people will shower their love upon . I really wish there's a time machine, maybe not to turn back time but to slow down time. While being focus on something, time just flew past without me realising it. I was so busy living my live of how it should be and forgot about what I wanted truly. Tons of money? Getting good results?

To be honest, I always wanted to be a singer but I never dare to step out of what is supposed to be my "path of life" being embarrassed by the idea of having people know my deepest secret, especially my parents, they will never approve of my passion. As I grow older, I feel even worse about the fact that I've been wasting my time and not putting in effort to pursue my dream. Like what people always say, pursue your dream but it's easier said than done. I know that pursuing dream is the right thing to do, even if i die tomorrow, I will die smiling as I've made an effort to pursue my dream but how can this be done?

Another thing, I've always wanted to be attached. But now that I'm attached, I realised that love is kind of over-rated. It's true that you feel blissful when you are with that someone but at the same time the feeling of missing that person is equally unbearable. Why can't we just feel the blissful part of the relationship and not the missing person part? Sometimes I really don't like to meet him as the feeling of separating after the meet-up is really heartbreaking, emo-ing almost. Am I being too sticky or depending on him too much? I really don't like this kind of me as I feel so tied down by my own emotion, feeling so restricted not by him but by my own feeling. I really want to be in a relation that feels like freedom, but until then, I must surrender myself to my own emotions. Please, be more independent girl.

Labels: 2013, Birthday, daily lives, Relationship

Friday, September 14, 2012 { 6:52 AM }
Again

I got my results for my piano exam. Sadly, It's a fail again. I really dont know if i wanna go for the third try. It's so sickening and tiring to keep going through this. So the question now is should i try again? But if i try it again, im gonna spend more money on it. However, if i just stop here, all the money spent will be wasted? What do i wanna get out from this? My passion for piano is gone? I dunno..

Labels: Emo, failure

Thursday, May 24, 2012 { 7:23 AM }
Holidays, here it goes

The holidays are here!! 3 months! It started about a month ago? But i guess it got kinda boring after awhile. Being able to sleep to past noon is awesome! But the day itself feels shorter, and boring. I know i should be practising my piano, gotta get ready for the coming exam, but i just cant find that motivation. Sigh.

I always think about my dreams, what i want to be next time, what kind of life will i be having in the future. Somewhat, I'm just envy of the lives that my friends are having,going out, being pretty and popular. I know, I should be the one taking action if i want to lead this kind of life but I have no idea where to start. Maybe having some new pretty clothes will help? Or maybe losing some weight? Maybe I should just find a job.

My! And I want to travel! I want to travel so bad but there's no one to go with. And I guess it will be a good way to spend the holidays?

I don't want to just waste my whole 3 months just to wait for school to start again.

Labels: Bored, Holiday

Monday, February 13, 2012 { 12:02 AM }
Dang!

Why must i face the same thing every sem? This is so sickening, seriously. But I guess this is life and 人不为己，天诛地灭。Jiayou bah!

Labels: daily lives

Friday, January 27, 2012 { 2:43 AM }
恭喜发财！龙年行大运！

恭喜恭喜！！红包拿来！Haha! It's my favourite occasion of the year! CHINESE NEW YEAR! <33

I love the food!
I love the ang pao!
I love the special programmes on tv!
I love the songs that they play on the radio! ( ok, sort of, it's more of the happy mood that i like)
I love the interactions i have with my relatives!
I love the love that i feel from my relatives!

This year's lunar new year feels kinda different this year due to the different route that we took, i guess. It started from the east area and I realised that most of my relatives stay at the east after so many years. Although all these changes are quite minor but i still hope that things will feel normal again. I wish that my grandfather will recover soon. I haven't hear him speak ever since he met with that accident. How I wish that i can hear his voice again. I'm not even sure if he knows what is happening around him. I dunno if he's happy, sad or anything. Sometimes when he smiles or laughs, it seems like he is coughing. So I dunno if he is smiling or coughing or is he angry or if wants to tell us something or anything else.

Sometimes I really wish that I have the power of reading people's mind. This superpower will be really useful in many many ways when i think about it. It allows me to know if my parents are angry so that i can get away in time. With this power i can be the ultimate matchmaker! :D That will be awesome man! And of course i can know what other people think especially when there is communication problem. Omigd, I've went so off topic. This post is suppose to be about CNY.

So, the food in every family is awesome and special as they always try to get hand-made food or food that is difficult to get which taste better, seriously. Although aunties, uncles and cousins ask about your life like "what school?", "what course?", "stay hall?", "got boyfriend?", etc People say that it is irritating as it feels that they are being interrogated. To me, this is their way of showing concern and they are genuinely curious about how I'm doing. I dunno, is it me or is it my family? Whatever, to me, my relatives are not bragging but they are concerning. Lucky me! :)

新年快乐！要拿很多红包哦！

Labels: Lunar New Year

Tuesday, January 17, 2012 { 3:19 AM }
New year, new resolution

It's 2012! Ppl say that this will be the last year of our existence. Well, no matter what, life still needs to go on. Let's just celebrate because it is a new year.

I finally realised one of my dreams last year that is to visit Taiwan! :) It has been on my wishlist since I was in secondary school which is like 6 years ago? haha! Yay! Good job yj on attaining one of your wishes, some more you paid for your own air ticket and accommodation.

So let's set new targets this year.

Improve my GPA so i can go Taiwan to exchange! (migosh, why am i so obsessed with taiwan?! Whatever!)
Slim down ( This is forever on my wishlist -.-)
Be braver to chase my dreams
Red light? lol.
Be on time

Anyway , school started. Glad to see all my friends again. I know i need to work hard this sem but it's just so argh! Jiayou bah. Hope that superman will visit Singapore more!

Labels: 2012, new year resolutions

Monday, January 2, 2012 { 10:13 AM }
So that was my first Pubbing experience

Met up with Lao Da, Rebecca and HS today. Was great to see them after so long. Went to KGarden today. My! Rebecca is really a damn good singer! How i wish i can have a voice like hers. I guess we both have the same dream that is to be a singer, but her voice is so much better than me. Oh well, jiayou! It will not be a bad idea if i can be her PA when she is a singer too.

Then we went PUB-BING!! For the first time i went pubbing. We ordered 2 pizzas and I ordered Mai Tai, it was nicer than i expected. It was nice, we were relaxing, chatting, chilling out. It felt good :)I wish we have more of such sessions.We found out that someone is attached. My, I guess im really getting old, perhaps time to get attached? Looks like evergreen isn't a status that we at this age should still be having? Coz another way to look at it is that we are left on the shelf, which sucks.

Then we went Chomp Chomp! The food was great there! We had or lua and satay! Yum Yum!

Oh! And we were soo lucky!! We caught the last train back to Paya Lebar! If we were to eat a bit longer, I wouldn't know how me and Becca would have came home. Anyways, just lucky.

Labels: daily lives, pubbing